Hearken! Incline the frigid and blood-swelled cartilage of your ears to the horrid lupine howls which regale the sickle of jaundiced moon that stares like the unasleep eye of a watchful cyclops above the treeline in the horizon afar. Listen with especial closeness and fright to the melancholy moan of chthonic beings, eyeless and crag-toothed, a deathlike whalesong escapes their gaping maws like vapour jetted from a teakettle. Hear the uneven thump of their wretched footsteps as they near the citizenry, not in want of relief from eternal lonesomeness, but in want of human flesh on which to feast. Feel to your innermost crumb of marrow the pianowire scraping of true terror evoked from the again-and-again beat of horse hooves on cobblestone that freights the unholy carriage of decapitated riders who grip leather reins with skeletal fingers, and who don carved jack-o-lanterns atop their flowing capery– a nervous flicker of candlefire illumes their knife-made grimace. Surrounding you is a panorama of the ghastly, the wicked, and the Damned. Tree boughs grasp the chill air slinked with fog and wraiths. Stalagmites of sulphur stab upwards from the ground like fangs from the mandibles of prognathi. Pervading every shivering molecule in our midst is the screaming jolt of this season’s fear. We say to all enthronged bodies both quick and unpulsing: Happy All Hallow’s Eve!
Friends and Followers:
The unseemly chill and Boo-ha-ha of this year’s October should be remedied by seasonal sweets and warm drink, what say you? Here at The Franklin Fountain and steps-away Shane Confectionery, we have worked weary circles around the clock face to ensure that our friends, patrons, and extended family are enwrapped in autumnal comfort and fine taste. For you, this season, we have an assortment of flavors as reliable as the shedding of leaves at equinox, and some new inventions of ours that we would be thrilled to bewitch you with.
First, we would like to announce to you through the agency of tooting trumpets the glad return of Pumpkin Ice Cream! This gourd-sent goodie brings due smiles to the countenances of all who have tasted its spiced magnificence. Truly, it is a customer favorite; it is wholly natural, and it tastes just like a serving of pumpkin pie had aside the cozy blaze of a hearthfire, only our brand is a touch sweeter, and it is enhanced by the tinkering of our kitchen sorceresses.
With equal fanfare, we would also like to proclaim the triumphant return of THE GREAT PUMPKIN SUNDAE! In truth, this is the most coveted sundae which we have to offer– customers await yearlong for its appearance, hoping to taste once more the rich and creamy flavorful scoops of Pumpkin Ice Cream, the hot drizzle of homemade Hot Caramel sauce, the elegantly laid salted pecan halves, the tufts of kitchen-prepared whipped cream, and the sprinkle of ground cinnamon bark that falls like an early snow. Only true believers get to experience its wonder and transcendence, and we are proud to say, thanks to the steady faith of its congregants, that it has arrived once more on the vines of the patch. The Great Pumpkin Sundae is also available in obedience with the dietary construction of the Vegan ethos.
We’ve several more things to disclose to you! Like our Apple Cider Sorbet, made from freshly harvested apples collected on an autumn outing to a local farm. The taste is sweet and familiar and touched with divinity. Returning to our dipping cabinets again this season is our Ginger Ice Cream. This offer does have a kick, as it is made with authentic ginger root, which we boil and sweeten in our own antique copper pots over the blue flames of gasfire ovens. If you are ill this season, it may be worthwhile to have some of this ice cream so that the natural ginger may assist in your body’s healing faculties.
An additional announcement like velvet smoothed ‘gainst thine eardrum: Chocolate Appolonia Bisque Ice Cream is our newest endeavor, and we would take great pleasure in your trying it. For this culinary artwork, we are partnering with the glad folks at Federal Donuts in this very city of Philadelphia. They have provided us with some wonderful spices that go into the making of their toroid baked goods, including “appolonia spice,” which, according to our lenders, is an Israeli piquancy. Our ice cream which utilizes this pep of the East is deep with our traditional cocoa goodness, and in glorious addition it is infused with the breath of aromatic blossoms and barks of the land of Canaan.
Also new to the Fountain are Ice Cream Sandwiches of our own make and design that come either in classic combinations or in varieties that are yours to choose. We offer either Vanilla, Mint Chip, or Hydrox Cookie Ice Creams as filling for your sandwiches with Chocolate Cookies, or you may select seasonal sandwiches like Pumpkin Ice Cream with Gingerbread Cookies. Either way, you will have an absolutely scrumptious sandwich that you won’t be able to find at your local delicatessen.
This month, we will also be offering to you Warmed Local Apple Cider which we brew ourselves in such seasonal enticements as nutmeg, allspice, fresh oranges studded with cloves, and star anise. To see the face of a windswept traveller or business professional who enters through our doors with red cheeks and ears only to taste our cider and, mid-first-sip, find refreshment and the upswelling of nostalgic memories, is truly heart-warming and something to behold.
At the blue facade of Shane Confectionery at 110 Market Street, you will be able to discover a glowing assortment of fresh sweets to tickle your fancy on this October month. To begin with, we would request the honor to enthrall you with our brand new Spiced Pumpkin Buttercreams, engineered by the dutiful team of confectioners on the upper floors of our candy factory. These deeply delicious buttercreams offer an autumnal twist on the Shane Family favorite, transforming the century-old recipe of the Cinderella fondant into an extravagant Pumpkin Carriage of sorts at the wand-strike of our favorite enchantress. The rich taste is sprinkled with myriad flavors that entrust fall’s magic, and the natural pumpkin overtone is a signature sensation that will bring sheer joy to the fibrous ventricles of a gleeful heart.
Also adorning the mirrored shelves of our steadfast candystore are Candied and Caramel Apples! Whether an eager tot in knickerbockers or a full-grown adult in modern dress, you will be filled with child-like happiness when you taste these green apple confections akin to those made in autumns of the American past.
Proclamation! An Extension of Invitation! On All-Hallow’s Eve, Wednesday, October 31st, arrive at Shane Confectionery in spooky and festive period attire and receive a treat! Enter at your own risk, and at the peril of thine own soul!
Well, that’s about all for now. We hope that we haven’t spooked you too considerably.
The Berley Brothers and Staff
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